Saints be Praised!

It began as one of those days...where I needed a solid shot of strong coffee to even remember WHY I was in the kitchen, let alone think of looking for things I'd decided the previous night I just had to.
So, one mug of my favorite brew down, feeling more or less a human (hopefully looking like one, too), I decided it's time to look at what I'd need to take with me on my first 'vacation' since Allie..

And, WHAM! (In hindsight, had this happened before I had my coffee, I think the strong cuppa would have taken a back-seat) I realize that my 'seldom worn' wedding necklace (mangalsutra) is missing!! I couldn't for the life of me recall where I'd stashed it (the supposedly 'new' hiding place I'd surely remember!!) I checked in all the places that could've been the new 'safe' place, to no avail.

Convincing myself there was no need to panic (yet!) I tried to carry on with my promised visit to my parents' house, then to get some shopping in and then another cup of coffee (by now I was quite worked up, so I did need that cold coffee with whipped cream :P )

Back home, with Allie reaching knee-height and pulling everything she can reach out of the cupboard, I franctically started pulling things to add to the mess Allie had created, much to her pleasure... Still no sign of the 'mangalsutra'. In complete panic mode, I call the husband...who (on his way to catch up with friends) also starts getting a l'il worked up (After all, he was the one that shelled out the moolah for that a couple of years ago, and saw me wear just a couple of times)

Now, me remembers a friend who told me she and her family usually intercede to Saint Anthony whenever they misplace or lose things. A non-believer in it myself, I anyway decided to give it a go...I mean, how could it hurt???

I find the short, sweet and quirky l'il prayer as follows...

"Tony, Tony,
look around..
Something's lost
And must be found"

Well, that seems too easy, I said, wondering why I hadn't come across this before.

Back to the cupboard I go, rechecking every place I'd thought was a 'safe' place for my precious 'mangalsutra'...no sign...

Then, i check for it in the least likeliest place (which I had kinda skimmed through the first time round)..and to my eternal gratitude to St. Anthony, I found it!

Who would've thought that a small lil 'quirky' prayer I'd find and say with utmost belief, and a tad too much desperation, would really really work miraculously?

As the title says, Saints...(in this case, St.Anthony)...be Praised!

random ramblings...Part 2

Remember when you were in school and wanted nothing better than to get out of there ... immediately?

Well, you got your wish, and 'life' happened...and if you are anything like me, you probably now yearn for those uncomplicated days when what was most important was ensuring you have all your books for the day in your bag, your homework's all done and you're - more or less - ready for the exams.

Then college happened, when your one dearest wish (of the many) must've been finding a set of friends you could hang around with who were cool (not cold), pray you wouldn't be ragged (those days, I am sure it wasn't as bad as now), and that Mom gives enough pocket-money (allowance) to cover travel and the occasional splurge (a sandwich at the canteen or college gate?). Today, pocket money no longer exists - children hold parents ransom for the amount they wish, or else...

Then came the working days - you'd think these were the best days of your life - after all you had your own money, were a 'grown up', could come and go as you please...but with targets, annoying clients, crazy deadlines and hectic schedules...tell me honestly you didn't wish for the good old school days.

There are more such milestones that some of us have crossed, some of us soon will, some of us have survived and lived to tell the story, some of us have given up mid-way... but, when, if ever, in life are we going to be happy? Truly happy with where we are in life... Is this wishing and hoping and yearning - either for something more or for something gone by - ever going to stop? Are we ever going to accept that this is the hand we've been dealt and we should play it as best as we can?

I know that up to a certain extent, I can happily say I am happy with where I am in life...and then I just have to bring in the killer word...BUT (and then here we go again...)

random ramblings of a muddled mind - part I

Wow! We're getting to that time of the year (already) when the city, and in turn my life, begins to light up, get in full party mood....it begins with Navratri (this is on the 'city' scale), goes on to Diwali (again, more the city than me), then my birthday (this is all me!), my cousins' and nephew's birthdays...this year onwards, my darling Allie's birthday and then Christmas (my all time favorite!)...and a few weddings thrown into the mix...

How this year has almost flown by! I barely remember doing stuff...is this 'slipping by' a side effect of motherhood? After all, who has the time to notice hours, days and weeks when there's an impish grin, a tentative step, a warm 'leave you feeling all fuzzy inside' hug waiting for you every now and then?

Anyway, in my usual roundabout way, what I am trying to say is that time's flying. Remember to start shopping for that perfect gift - for whom, you ask? Me of course! :P Seriously, for everyone on your Christmas list, for everyone getting married, or for someone you want to gift something - just because. Remember that sometimes one small random act of kindness, of making someone feel special (if they don't usually get on your nerves, that is), of letting someone know that they're thought of...of showing someone you love them - in spite of what they do to annoy you...that is what this time of the year is all about (not that the rest of it isn't...but doesn't this time of the year or, okay, maybe December make you feel so?)

I know that I intend to start with some therapy for the mind and soul - shopping, and chocolate cake and coffee - to get me out of this weird funk I am in that has let almost a month go by without a single blog!! Also, to get me out of the funk where I am almost starting to feel sorry for myself (something I haven't felt in the last 2.5 years)... So, malls, beware! Here I come! After all, I need to kick-start  my list of people to make feel good

No Baby Talk

What is it about pregnant women, and newborn babies, that makes everyone else (READ:other than the pregnant one or the mother) think that they know better about how to look after oneself/the baby, what to eat/feed the baby, what is 'best' etc etc?

This is a question I raise from both, personal experience and observations. I agree, most of the elderly have experience in both, being pregnant and having had their babies...but that makes them no experts on how I, or anyone else from this generation for that matter, should look after themselves or raise their babies. A few things I think they need to understand - be it mothers, mothers-in-law, relatives, neighbors, or even older friends or siblings - are

# You had your baby a long time ago. Things were different then and are way different now.

# No two pregnancy experiences are the same - they never are for the same woman having a baby the second time around, forget for another person

# Just as you dislike/d anyone telling you how to do things so does the one you are 'passing on' your 'infinite' and 'tried and tested' knowledge to

# Your way is NOT the only way things should be done. They may have worked for you. We'd rather deal with everything MY way

# Our generation has way better facilities and products than you even dreamed were possible. Let us utilize them

# Our babies are just as perfect, if not more, than yours were (that includes even us when we were babies). DON'T tell us their nose should be this way or their foreheads that way or they should be massaged for this long...THEY ARE PERFECT the way they are!!!

Time and Tide Wait for No One

Whenever anyone tells me, "hurry up!" or "you're wasting time" or "how long you take"... it cheeses me off. I mean...if I'm wasting time, isn't it mine? Yes, I know, that if I am making someone else wait, then I am wasting their time as well as mine...but seriously! How can a few minutes here or there matter? Right?

Well, 'time' has proven me wrong! I mean, really! Everyone who knows me knows that more often than not, there always is something that results in me being late - used to be my pet, then my nephew, now my kiddo... But, these very reasons for me being late have also given me my wake up call about time. For instance, while logically I did know that Mickey was 14 years old - having proven his doctors wrong twice, he lived on for almost 3 years more...that was the 'time' I was granted with him...but he eventually left me, and in a real bad way, scarred me (more on that some day). I loved him, he loved me but he moved on.
Then there was my nephew, who after Mickey was the 'other man' in my life... Again, 'time' intervened...and now, though I still love my nephew to pieces, he's no longer the cuddly little boy he was...'Time' has taught him that at 5, he's a 'big boy' and won't accept my hugs and kisses as eagerly as when he was 2, and most definitely not in public!
And now, my darling daughter...who, it feels like just yesterday, was placed in my arms at hospital and is almost 9 months now! Wow, 'time' just flew by! I still feel I haven't had enough of her smiles, her little finger holding mine, every tiny move, every little expression (I'm sure the 2500+ pix I have of hers prove me wrong) but... again 'time' has moved on while I'd like to be ensconced in that warm, fuzzy feeling I had when I first saw her and counted her tiny little fingers and toes and was awestruck, and yes, again in love!

I realize that this is how life moves on. This is what people mean when they say 'time and tide wait for no one'... That still doesn't stop me from wishing I has some kind of a remote control or something that would help me pause, stop, rewind or forward time...to have and to hold and to relive just the those wonderful moments and memories that I look back fondly, and a tad too nostalgically on. I'd want time to go back and experience the feeling I did when I first fell head over heels in love with my husband, or when I laughed and laughed till I felt my bladder about to explode, or when I had that perfect chocolate cake or coffee, when I found that book I was so madly looking for, when I first found that perfect pair of jeans (that I haven't been able to find thereafter)...I guess the list is never ending..

And THAT precisely is why 'time' moves on... and we have to learn not to procrastinate (look who's talking!), not to yearn for what's passed but to look forward to and create new memories, have many more such 'moments' and cherish every little thing we can about life.

Sheila, Munni and the like

Well...what do I say? They each have a charm of their own - while they have hordes of grown up men drooling over their scintillating moves...and ahem...assets that leave not much to the imagination...they also happen to have a HUGE - I mean like really really HUGE - fan following in the form of toddlers aged 3 and below! Shocked? I was, to say the least, especially when I saw some of these tots actually happily moving their 'bumpies' in the air swaying to the music. To give the kiddies their due, I am sure they were swaying only to the music unlike the grown-ups who sway because the 'items' sway them, if you get my drift.

Where are the sweet, innocent rhymes that were all we heard when we were kids? The sweet little 'Jack and Jill', 'London Bridge' or 'Humpty Dumpty'? Please don't tell me that they aren't taught any more because they aren't 'culturally ours'! Yeah, right! And Sheila, Munni, or (OMG!!!) the horrendous Jalebi Bai are 'culturally ours'?

Another few senseless but catchy tunes that have tots shaking their collectively adorable booty include 'Dinka Chika', 'Tai Tai Phish' and 'Character Dheela'. what else are we going to get to see in the name of entertainment? And how, if any way, are we going to be able to keep the tots from catching on to these instead of sweet rhymes?

Choices=Confusion (!) (?)

Does it? Or doesn't it? - This could relate to anything from something I have chosen to buy or wear to make sense of or ignore.

Like the two choices above, in a day, I, and could also be you, face at least ten choices. Every.Single.Day. Tell me it is not so, and I will find you an ice cream cone in a desert (or maybe not!)These choices may be from something small - should I wear jeans or shorts - to something big - should we go on a vacation or put the money into our 'retirement fund'. And, trust me, whatever the choice, we will be left feeling that the alternative would have been better.

Take the route my thoughts were following today, for instance. Suddenly, out of the blue, I get thinking - Should I take up a full-time job or am I better off being a homemaker? Now, please note, it's been almost a year and a half that I have been working-from-home. With a little one keeping me busy all day, I do some work. I know that if I get to full-time work, I will get in more money, meet more people, focus on work better translating to better quality of work (which, considering I am an editor and doing the final QC, is a MUST), more confidence and a chance to break the mould I am settling a little too comfortably into.

Now on to the other side of the coin...working full-time means leaving my little one either in day-care or with mom. Missing out on her first step, her first word, being the first one she turns to for comfort, being the only one her eyes seek when she wakes up or her hand reaches for in her sleep, the only one who can sing her favorite lullaby, the only one who knows exactly why she's crying - poop / pee/ hunger / wanting to be held / just because. And much more.

It boils down to the 'paapi peth ka sawaal' v/s the 'maa ka dil' torment. Each with its own set of pros and cons. Whatever decision I take, I am still left wondering would choosing that alternative have made a difference? And a horde of other questions...cross-questioning the choice I have made.

How do I convince myself that I have made the right decision? How do I stop the questions and cross-questions? How do I tell myself that just because there are choices, they mustn't necessarily be accompanied by confusion? How?

Those were the days..

..when worry was for the grown-ups

..when I did whatever I wanted to, said whatever I wanted to, went wherever I wanted to, ate whatever I wanted to (Not that I still don't)

..when 'cooking' meant only checking on what Mom was doing in the kitchen

..when friends meant more than family and my pet meant more than my siblings (Mickey still does :P)

..when every rupee saved contributed towards yet another Mills&Boons / Nancy Drew/ Sweet Valley University (Really??? I read THAT?) to my collection

..when birthdays were so much fun (They still are but for the candles SIGH!!)

..when we oohed and aahed over John Stamos (Without anyone thinking we'd lost it)

..when Oldies weren't really that old :P

..when chocolate cake, cheese, jalebis and gajar ka halwa could be gorged upon without a second thought

..when 'I'll see you at 6' meant I'd see you at 6 (Indian Stretchable Time wasn't invented yet, neither were mobiles)

..when what I said went and never returned

..when pink/maroon/green jeans weren't laughed at (The fact that they were 'Jeans' was big enough)

..when the rains meant jumping in puddles without worrying about wet clothes and dirty toes

To, my dearest Coffee

My dearest Coffee,

I love you! I love you so much more than I can ever say. I am sorry we parted ways for a brief time - but trust me when I say that when we got back together, the feeling was simply beyond this world!

You know, you are the only one I can depend on - always - whether it is to wake me up when required or even put me to sleep, if required. I am amazed at how fluid your role is in this matter. You are my one-stop-solution for many a malady - from opening a clogged nose to raising my ever dropping BP. You perk me up, even if it is when I just think of you combined with some hazlenut flavoring or topped with choco sauce and whipped cream! I must say you are the stuff dreams are made of!

What's even better is that the husband doesn't ever get jealous of your role in my life! In fact, he, himself, has helped me find the best version of you that I have had so far - Colombian! And he knows how very important you are to me, my sanity and his, too.

So, here's to hoping we never part ways again, ever!

Yours forever!